Part Time Adult

It’s time to put your big boy/big girl pants on.

You probably already know this, but some people need to hear it, or see it again to get confirmation.

There is a good chance that someone in your life needs to be cut off. This could be anyone from someone you’re dating to a family member, friend, mentor, etc. Sometimes even mom and/or dad need to go.

I don’t mean letting go of the memory of a friend or loved one who passed. I am talking about someone you know and interact with. As you get older you start to realize that you don’t have time for the BS and have to trim off the fat from your life.

I’m not telling young people to disobey their parents or caregivers. I’m big on respect. However, if you’re in your 30s, and mom still gives you grief about not being married, or dad expresses his disappointment with your career choice every time he sees you, maybe it’s time you have a serious talk.

If you’re happy you need to communicate that. Make it clear. Make it clear that you would like for the matter to no longer be discussed. That’s it. If they can’t get with that, maybe take a break from them.

If you’re not happy with where you are, just say you’re working on it, and you’ll keep them posted when you feel like it.

It’s time to put your big boy/big girl pants on.

In some cases, you might be the one who needs to be let go, and you just need to face that, and move on. You might be holding somebody back, and if you really want to be a gangster about it, remove yourself from that person.

You don’t need to do anything drastic. Just fall back. Spend more time with yourself. You can even tell that other person what you’re up to. If they’re mature enough they’ll understand.

You might even be taking some weight off their shoulders, because they weren’t brave enough to let you go. That shows a lot of maturity on your part. Know when it’s time to leave. I’ve been on both sides of this coin. It wasn’t easy, but I’ve been through a lot worse.

Again, big pants time.

For all of you married folks out there struggling with your union, please, get some help before deciding to end your marriage. I understand not all marriages work, but those vows and rings and cake and all that other stuff mean something. Children can make it even more difficult. I’ll save my opinion on whether or not couples should stay together for the kids.

Do what you feel is best for your situation. If you do decide to move on, please make every effort to do so in a peaceful manner, especially where children are involved. I can’t stress enough how much of a big deal this is. Try your best to make it work, and get all the necessary help before getting a divorce or annulment.

This is hard.

I’ve had to say, “Goodbye,” to several people in my life. Some cases were harder than others. Some took longer than others. Some weren’t hard at all. Sometimes I didn’t even need to do anything. You can just ignore a person, and after time they usually get the picture.

I’m not into being rude. However, as I get older I realize that I don’t have much time to waste. Let’s just nip this thing in the bud. Don’t hang around people you do not want to hang around. It sounds simple, but I have this conversation on almost a daily basis with people who can’t seem to get away from negative friends. I guess it’s not as simple as it sounds.

Ultimately it’s up to you. You need to make these decisions for yourself. You. You. You.

Take control of your life. I’m not saying you should disregard people who have your best interests at heart like friends, family, teachers, counselors, mentors, etc. You might have some good people in your corner who care about you. Those people are valuable. Treat them as such.

I’m talking people who drain you. You know the type. They don’t make you feel like the best version of yourself.

The good thing about all this is that you are in control. Think of how refreshing that feels. You grant access. You are the gatekeeper, no one else.

The need to let go of people usually seems a bit more evident with maturity. When we’re young we rarely feel like we’ll have another group of friends or someone else we’ll love, or love us back. In actuality, the probability of those things occurring is pretty darn high.

I once worked with a gentleman who I thought would be a great mentor. He was a financial wiz. He was really successful and hung out with tons of well-known people.

We connected rather quickly and discussed all sorts of ideas that we felt could lead to success. We talked about being billionaires. Every time I saw his big boy luxury car pull up I felt like I was one step closer to that success.

I let him know about an idea I had for a tech startup. He loved it. He even gave it a secret name and brought in someone who used to work at a major tech company to discuss it, and she loved it. We contacted more people who could help build this next tech giant.

I always had ideas but rarely had the money to execute them. Now I felt like I finally had some financial muscle behind me to make things happen. I had already purchased an island in my mind. I flew there on a chartered jet (I don’t want the hassle of private jet ownership, because I’m a frugal billionaire.). It was beautiful. You should’ve seen it.

We were going to be bigger than Pied Piper (amateurs) and Hooli (amateurs with more desks).

We were going to have all sorts of zany adventures, and tackle first-world problems like these guys. We were going to be full-fledged card-carrying members of the Three Comma Club.

I had already decided that our chief technology officer was going to speak at TechCrunch Disrupt, because my mentor-to-be and I weren’t that technical.

Investors were going to fight to the death over investing in our company.

A few months went by, and he got fired from that job. He needed a police escort out of the building. I tried reaching out to him to find out what happened, but I never got an answer. His name was up there with the Boogeyman, never to be uttered around the office. I later found out that he was using company money for personal reasons, and that’s putting it nicely.

Several years passed by. I was already at a new organization by this point. He sent me a text saying that he was going to sue our former employer. He asked me if I wanted to be a part of the lawsuit. I ignored the text and haven’t spoken to him since.

Even though I had the wind taken out of my sails in regard to my tech dream, it was easy letting that person go.

All money isn’t good money, and I had other interests. I knew I had to go another route, and I was at peace with that. Sometimes I wonder if he went through with my idea. I’ll cross that bridge if it ever gets built.

I can’t look back, and neither should you. People are designed to be in your life for a certain amount of time. Some stick around longer than others. Cherish those who uplift you.

Don’t confuse people who lift you up with people who enable you. If you have negative behaviors, and other people fuel those behaviors, those are two negatives that don’t make a positive. I’ll write about that some other time.

Letting someone go can be extremely refreshing, and it just might be the thing holding you back from making progress in certain areas of your life. I’m not saying that your life is going to drastically change after dropping these people.

But I might be saying that.

Have you ever had to cut someone off from your life? Have you ever been cut off? Why? Leave a comment!

Thank you for coming through. Please, subscribe, like, share, follow or whatever else people are doing now. All that really helps a lot. Be good.

Aurelio, Part Time Adult