Part Time Adult

I like sneakers, but I wouldn’t consider myself a “sneakerhead.” I’m not standing in line for them, and I usually spend around $20-40 on a pair.

I knew someone who was a sneakerhead, mainly a Jordanhead. This person had about 100 pairs of just Jordans in addition to other shoes.

Everyday they would wear a different pair and not wear the same pair for weeks.

I wanted to do that.

We’ve all heard the phrase “Keeping up with the Joneses,” right?

For the unaware, Wikipedia puts it as, “the comparison to one’s neighbor as a benchmark for social class or the accumulation of material goods.” AKA, they have tons of sneakers; so I want tons of sneakers, too.

It was a brilliant plan. To do what, I wasn’t sure.

I had around 10 pair of shoes at the time. I was happy.

A couple of years later I had over 50 pair.

I got lots of compliments. It felt good. I thought I was really doing something.

Ah, yes, that’s what I was doing! I was looking for compliments. They’re like “likes” but in real life.

There’s another phrase. “Rich people stay rich by living like they’re broke. Broke people stay broke by living like they’re rich.”

I had a little money saved up—about two years’ worth of expenses—so it wasn’t a big deal to me to buy sneakers every week.

However, had I taken that money (thousands) and invested it, let’s say in Netflix stock, that investment would be worth at least $50K and would be worth a whole lot more had I kept investing.

You live, and you learn; I guess.

I still like shoes. I just have a lot less of them.

And I own Netflix stock, Amazon and few others. My portfolio’s not worth $50K, but I’m working on it.

You don’t need to spend a lot on a decent sneaker. However, I don’t recommend going with a pair of XJ900 sneakers. These were bootleg Jordans guaranteed to bring out the cruelness in children back in the day. Eighties babies know.

Keeping up with the Joneses is for fools.

Next time you have thoughts of keeping up with the Joneses (and can’t afford it). … Knock those thoughts out of your head.

I’m not saying to never have stuff, but don’t get it to impress others. That’s corny, especially if you’re stretching yourself financially for it.

It’s such a waste of time, money, attention and more.

If you want to get a look at how many of the Joneses actually get by, check out the short videos below.

Just an FYI. I know the Joneses. Here are some things you should know about them.

• The Joneses eat NY pizza with a knife and fork.
• The Joneses are really bad tippers (because they’re broke).
• The Joneses blew a 3-1 lead in the NBA Finals.
• The Joneses come to the BBQ, and don’t bring anything (because they’re broke).
• The Joneses then take 10 to-go plates from that same BBQ.
• The Joneses put raisins in their potato salad.
• The Joneses got into a fistfight at a New England Patriots football game, even though they were winning at the time. They were all wearing jerseys, too.
• The Joneses wear sunglasses in the club.
• The Joneses don’t wear sunscreen.
• The Joneses go to frat parties even though they graduated 15 years ago.
• The Joneses passed on Michael Jordan in the 1984 NBA Draft.
• The Joneses also voted to move the NBA’s Seattle SuperSonics to Oklahoma City
• The Joneses also voted “yes” for the name “The Los Angeles Angels of Anaheim” in Major League Baseball
• The Joneses did not vote for Pedro.
• The Joneses smell like stale corn chips.
• The Joneses once cussed a puppy out for being too cute.
• The Joneses just made fun of me for typing “The Joneses” 16 times in this bulleted list instead of copying and pasting “The Joneses” each time.
• The Joneses are horrible people.

In Conclusion

Forget the Joneses. The Joneses suck. Oh, and that big house that they never invite you into. … Cat hair, everywhere.

Don’t overdo it trying to impress anyone but yourself.

I am really sorry if your last name is Jones.

I’m not talking about you. I meant those Joneses, the ones who leave bills and coins all over the counter for the cashier to pick up instead of putting the money in their hands.

You’re cool.

What do you think? Ever tried keeping up with the Joneses? How’d it go? Drop a comment below.

Thank you for reading!

Aurelio, Part Time Adult