Part Time Adult

Imagine if coffee beans disappeared tomorrow. Even if you don’t drink coffee, your life would be ruined since all the people who do are now really, really bad versions of themselves.

You pull up to the drive-thru.

You: Can I get a two-liter iced coffee, please?

Them: We don’t have that.

You: Um, ok. How about a half-gallon latte?

Them: We don’t have that, either.

You: Can I get plain, black coffee, any size?

Them: We’re all out.

You: Of coffee?

Them: Yes.

You: What do you have?

Them: Tea.

You: 😡👎

Also you: 🤜 (Punches steering wheel, not a fist bump)

Them: Coffee doesn’t exist anymore.

You: Wait. What? Then. … Why do you exist?

Them: Well, one day my parents met at a Prince concert in Tucson and. …

You: I meant the coffee shop!

Them: Not sure, but pretty sure we’re all getting laid off soon. I’m not sure how I’m going to pay my bills.

You: Boo hoo! I NEED coffee to get through my day.

Them: That’s really uncalled for, pretty inconsiderate. I actually need coffee to like, purchase food and medicine, and pay for my child’s daycare. My wife and I are also going through. …

You: Whatever. I’ll have a petite green tea.

Them: You want fries with that?

You: Huh?

Them: Just kidding. Anything else?

You: A coffee cake.

Them: 😕

You: What?

Them: Promise not to get mad?

You: 😔😩😭😤🤬

Now you’re upset, and 20 minutes later you’re on Instagram live mouthing off at a cop with a mouth full of grass and an eye full of mace.

We must protect the coffee bean at all costs.

We are all coffee beans.

We’re a big deal.

We must support each other.

Let someone know how important they are to you whenever you get a chance, whether they’re a personal or professional connection. If you can’t tell them in person, call them. Text them.

Tag them in some awesome post you saw online, and let them know that it made you think of them.

Hey, intern. You’re a big deal.

Hey, mailroom clerk. You’re a big deal.

Hey, volunteer. You’re a big deal.

Hey, part time virtual assistant working remotely from another country. You’re a big deal.

Hey, barista/gatekeeper of caffeine and sanity/reducer of violent crimes and mass firings. You’re a big deal.

Hey, janitor/custodian/sanitation engineer/commercial property purity procurement professional. … Coffee bean status is bestowed upon you as well. … Level: Arabica.

In Conclusion

You, reading this article, you have no idea how big of a deal you are to me. Some of you are on your break. Some of you are finishing your breakfast cigarette. Some of you are in the bathroom.

The fact that you chose to spend a few minutes with me means a lot.

I love you for that, and because of that I just want to give you a heads up.

You have toilet paper stuck to your shoe.

That’s a big deal, just like us. We are like toilet paper stuck to the bottom of a shoe.

Little things are a big deal.

It’s thoughts like these that keep me humble.

What are some “little” things that are a big deal to you? Feel free to drop a comment.

Napkins are a big deal to me. If you can’t respect that we can’t be friends. We can’t network. We can’t co-found that startup. Kidding. Not kidding.

Thanks for reading! If you enjoyed this article, I’d really appreciate if you could share it with one other person. Enjoy the rest of your week.

Aurelio, Part Time Adult